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Dear Amaka,

Hello World

Is it a good idea to confront my mother-in-law in front my husband, I’m asking for advice? She is always smiling and nice around me, but when I’m not around her and my husband she will talk about me.Then my husband will tell me what she said and tell me to change.

Dear Sister,

No it is not a good idea, you should just let her be. Your marriage is not affected in any way and when she is in front of you she smiles and all, trust me that is all you need my dear. You should treat her normally, be friendly and respectful to her when she is around give her all the respect,love and care she deserves and when she is not around behave like she does not exist, tell your husband that your marriage is between you two (in a gentle and loving manner, to avoid argument) so you really do not want to know what it is that she says behind you.

Husbands love their mothers a great deal, he loves you yeah but the love for his mother is way way on-top of the roof so you would not want to start anything that would create tension and make him stuck. The issue would escalate trust me and your home is likely not going to be same, so if you love your marriage and peace DO NOT I repeat DO NOT!!! confront her.

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Dear Amaka,

Was I wrong to react this way. Last night I was asleep and dreaming and kept having a strange sensation of being poked and touched. I finally woke up and found that my husband was in the midst of having intercourse with me. I bolted up out of bed, went to the bathroom to clean myself up, and started to cry.

I asked him why he did it and he said because I was moaning beforehand he thought I was awake in bed and wanted him since it had been so long. He said that I seemed fine while we were doing it. Has anyone had this happen before? I felt kind of violated, like he was just using me as masturbation device. But I’m not sure if I am overreacting or not.” 

Dear Sister,

Well like your husband said he must have thought you were not sleeping due to the fact that you were moaning and all,I’m certain that he didn’t do it to harass you or make you feel uncomfortable or bad.

Your reaction was normal because you were shocked and surprised but would be better if you do not dwell on it, you can tell him how you felt so he does not repeat it next time but do not start throwing tantrums as this would affect your relationship in a very bad way.

Tell him calmly I’m sure he would apologize and do better the next time

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