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It makes total sense and its also important for your family to get along with your partner, it is awesome when our parents are involved in multiple areas of our lives and also hang out with the people we care about. But if your parents do not approve of your relation, it can be really tough, making you feel terrible and torn between your family and your partner but pulling away from your family and continue dating your partner at their back will not do anybody good.
Hello Amaka. It’s really nice what your doing I admire your work. So let’s get down to my issue. Am 21 and not in school yet but am doing a trade for now. I met this guy 4months ago and his 24 his done with school and doing his NYSC, his the sweetest human i have ever met I admire a lot of qualities about him and now we are dating but the thing is my family doesn’t like him at all. Why? Because his a brother to someone my sister once dated or kinda dated and she felt he was a player and still is so they assume his playing me because it supposedly runs in the family. Truth is I really really like him and I wanna get to know him better and hopefully it leads to marriage. But my family members are confusing me with all this things, saying his only tricking me to have $3x with me because am a Virgin. I feel they don’t know him and they shouldn’t judge him based on the past of his family member. It’s a complicated one I tell ya. Am confused. They feel why date now if u won’t marry in the next 2 or 3years but they don’t know the future for both of all. I really wish they understood. Coupled with the fact that they treat me like a 12year old. Which isn’t right. I get they wanna protect me but can’t they allow me make my mistakes and learn from them. I am really not going to do anything stupid. Am not even allowed to see him not to talk of look at him. And it hurts me knowing he feels the same way as me. His family are in support of me and him but my family just don’t. If am to break down everything that’s happening now you l pity me. I was dating him and they caught me and banded me from him, told me to breakup with him which I did but I missed him so much, whenever I saw him I felt deep pains in my little heart, I cried so hard in secret Which led us to secretly date. And I really wish that wasn’t so. They feel his disrespectful because of one thing he said and he was only joking. Maybe he said it in a way my family doesn’t like.
So Amaka. Please help me. What should I do. Should I continue dating him hoping someday we l forever be together or should I call it quits and forget him even if it breaks my heart into shattered pieces? Or some other advice I need your help desperately.
Dear Lover Girl
Your boyfriend loves you but your parents love you more, they want whats best for you , so they will try their best so you don’t make the mistake of dating a guy that is unworthy. However, because they are older doesn’t necessarily mean they are wiser, understand your parents role as well as your partners role, make clarification on both sides without disrespecting your parents. If your parents feel he is a player then you have to make your findings so to help him clear his name.
Talk to your parents as calmly and respectfully as possible, parents are the easiest people you can talk with emotionally, try to make them understand your feelings and then weigh the pros and con that your parents are talking about. Clear all misunderstanding before going further with the relationship and don’t keep a secret relationship with this guy because you will not feel good in the long run.
Hey darlings, this sister is in need of your advice please help her out.
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