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Feeling insecure in a relationship is natural to some point but when it becomes a problem, it can destroy a relationship. Insecurity can make people become too clingy or needy which will create problems in a relationship. Sometimes, people with insecurity problems have been left down or hurt in previous relationship which leaves them feeling emotionally vulnerable which sometimes requires a professional counselor to help.

Black woman frowning with head in hands

Hello World

I finished school last year and i had a boyfriend in my school,things dint start well tho i was more like a side chick then eventually things changed and we got along soo well.i love this guy nd he loves me too we were just too good tho we still had some issues but we always found a way to sort things..i finished school but my boyfriend has an extra so hes still in but when i left we started having distance issue and some other things,he became too jealous,overprotected at aome point i couldnt keep up with some things again..like my bf tells me to munch my chat list,munch my chat with people,i am not allowed to hangout with guys,even girls asides the one he knows from my school,hes always excited wen i tell him i am out bt for an errand,i dint av a problem bt with time it began to be a bigdeal..i always went to abk from lagos to see him tho not until i was posted to abuja,which made it worse we were both upset bt i dint av a choice i was also trying to redeploy which dint work out but still right from when i was in camp it was always one issue or the other also.i went to lagos after camp nd that was the last we saw but still things became worse issues upon issues,send your chat,who were you talking to,why is your no busy,how many new guys do you know now,how many dates have you gone on,he hacks into my accts,instagram etc just to see my msgs meanwhile i was faithful with this guy..i am not 100%pure but i knew i had nothing else with someone.at a point he begs me cos he fills bad for not been there financially but i made him realise that wasnt the problem tho it was affecting me a lil nd he knows i am not the demanding type i was ok with whatever he had at times i even share the lilltle i have with him.now still on diff issues the truth is i am tired of all the problems bt we avnt broken up more like we just talk once a day nd hes trying to make things work but from my end i am not interested again but guess i am just too scared to let go i am confused if i sud just end things or try give him that chance again i feel hes obsessed nd thats not good for a relationship thats not the kind of relationship i want for mysef nd also I dont see my sef ending up with him

Dear Confused

You said it yourself that you don’t see yourself ending up with him and moreover you started off as a side chic which means you helped him cheat on his previous girlfriend. Guys with insecurities always have problem with themselves, which can also lead to an abusive relationship. Insecurity has a way of ruining even the happiest relationship and the most over-whelming fact is insecure people will still be feeling insecure even when they are told they are loved.

Individuals in Relationship need room to breath and when a relationship is full of anxiety, it will only end in problems, yes insecure relationship is not what any girl would love to be in but since he is trying to make things work, you can give him sometime to see if he has realized his mistakes and wants to change, that is if you still love him and if you don’t love him anymore and you are not interested in the relationship, then you can quit and move on.

Hey darlings, this sister is in desperate need of your advice please help her out.

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