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Hi Amaka

I love my boyfriend so much but i found out that he has been hiding alot of secrets from me especially from his past and when i try to ask him he denies everything..sometimes he compares me to his ex-girlfriends,often times he gives me a cold shoulder to his reasoning of having pressure and sometimes shows me all the love and care now i dont know what to think of him because his past secrets desturbs me to make maters worse he can only admit how much he loved some of his ex’s and denies most of his deppest secrects….please help
 Dear Sister,
I personally can not say the reason why he is not telling you his past, but then again you have to ask yourself if you act like you are ready to hear about his past, are you going to judge him by his past?. Maybe he has seen this signs and has decided not to tell you till he feels you are ready to hear about the past.
The fact that he tells you about how much he loves his exes and the cold shoulder attitude, maybe you should talk to him about this, communication always goes a long way in solving issues in a relationship, it could be that he has a lot on his mind and he does not even know he does this. So tell him how you feel.
I am a lady aged 24years and am dating a 31 year old man,we are in a long distance relationship for 4years,he tells me he loves me so much,his friends and family members they know and like me too and i love him too his the man i have decided to live with for the rest of my life.Now the problem is he rarely communicate or coming to see me in the town i live,and if i ask him why he tells me his too busy with his work which leaves him tired everyday and am the one to make all the efforts of calling and traveling.Should i continue pushing or let go of this relationship? please advice.
Hello Sister,
You have said he is the man that you have made up your mind to marry, this means he has the basic things you want in a man, work can be overbearing at times and leave one very tired and weak, it could be that he cant help it due to the nature of his job, have you considered to go see him.
I actually do not think this is enough reason to want to leave the relationship, you can talk to him about it and also consider go seeing him.
Dear Amaka
I met this guy in January and we became friends so close that we could talk about anything. At that time l found out he had a breakup with his galfriend of 3 years, their relationship was on and off until he decided to be out. I was also coming out of a relationship that never worked the feeling was nor mutual BT the guy is a good guy l got in the relationship hoping l will develop feelings Fo him and he was aware of that. In March we noticed we had developed feelings Fo each other and we spoke about and we came to a decision that we let whatever feeling it is grow we will deal with it as we were both not ready Fo a serious relationship. In July he told me his ex now wants him back and he is not sure what to do as he still has feelings Fo him. This broke my heart BT there was nothing l could do as exs have a strong hold. End of august he told me we need a break so that he sort out his issues. I see him everyday and it pains me so much because l still have strong feelings Fo him the last relationship l was really in love was 8years ago so right now it feels like am suffocating. He walks m home everyday he got so close to all my family members BT l only know his brother and sister. We started a business together in july so that’s why l see him everyday. Everyone who see us together says what a couple even before we got to be in a relationship. 2 weeks ago he discovered she is in a relationship and it hurt him bad she only came back because she found out he was in a relationship. So l just don’t know what to do either walk away and heal or wait till he accept his loss and come back.
Dear Sister,
You should indeed give him some time to think about what he wants, but while you give him that space make sure you show him you would always be there and that you care about his well being, because the truth is what he really needs now is a good friend and time to heal, all the other matters are secondary at this point.
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