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Many of us are slow learners and we are all aware of how marriage could be, yet we do try. The divorce rate among second marriages is higher than first marriages, one would think that an individual that has gone through a divorce would learn his or her lesson, therefore not repeat the mistakes of the past. This is often not the case as those who marry to fulfill certain needs but are not prepared to give in return usually marry with the same intent the next time around.


Hello World

Hi Amaka, please post my story as soon as you can as i am going crazy right now.I am a 29 yr old married lady with 3 kids [3 boys].We live in the UK though we are Nigerians. I got married to my first husband in my early twenties, i had my first son for him, he was 14 years older than i am and such a bully, he beats me at the slightest opportunity and never failed to remind me that he is not my mate.I had to leave him when i could no longer bear the physical and emotional abuse.I had to go rent my own apartment where i was managing with my son. Couple of men started coming after me but i was scared to have anything to do with older men so i decided to settle for a younger guy that was asking me out, we are actually age mates and he was single, this guy showed myself and my son all the love we needed, we got married after a year of courtship.Few months after we got married he became something else, his cheating habit is second to none, and he is never remorse about it. I have cried and begged him on several occassions to tell me what my offence is but he never had anything to say.My husband sneaks around the house to call his girlfriends, he goes to the toilet to make video calls, i don’t even know the password to his phone, a lot of times he would go for days without telling me where he is going,he deleted me from all his social medias because he wants to put his girlfriends’ pix as his dp…infact this is the little i can remember.There is this particular girl he is dating that we have quarrelled several times over because he doesn’t even struggle to hide it from me, few weeks back someone told me the girl is pregnant for him and i have been restless since then, i have not asked him because i am still making my findings in order to be sure. Please help me, i don’t want to leave my second marriage, people would think i am the bad one yet i am running mad.This man doesn’t respect my feelings one bit but how many people would understand that, i don’t want people to think that i do not want to stay under a man so i can be messing around but i am really really sick and tired of this madness called marriage

Dear Worried

That your marriage with an older man ended doesn’t mean other older men are the same. Have you asked yourself if you have truly finished with your ex spouse? Yes you are divorced but if you still get angry anytime you remember your ex spouse, you are not emotionally divorced. Experiences are there for you to learn from so you don’t repeat such mistake again but sadly you repeated same mistake and that is why people say that the devil you know is better than the new angel.

It is bad to go into a second marriage when you are not emotionally stable to decide what is good or bad, you have made your decision to marry a young guy and have seen the outcome. Only you can decide if you want to leave the marriage or stay, but you must put your children into consideration before taking any decision. You just have to be patient, ignore all his wrong doings but perform your duty as a wife and mother. Make your decision with a well stabled mind and after absolute evaluation so you don’t continue making mistakes

Hey darlings this sister is in need of your advice please help her out.

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