Being married or in a long term relationship comes with its ups and downs, it is roses and thorns people but you have to make it work because its a beautiful experience that requires work,effort, understanding and infinite patience. Many people consider marriage as a cage and so they would rather be in a long term relationship. In my honest and true opinion they are both the same, the only difference is the fact that you did not perform any ceremony but all the storms and calm are the same no difference at all.


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This brings me to the discussion “how to keep the fire burning in a long term relationship”. I am not a relationship guru, far from it, but I’ve been told I possess uncommon sense and I want to put it to good use by sharing this 5 tips with you to show you how to keep the fire burning in a long term relationship:

1. My first tip is Respect, a lot of you don’t understand how important respect is; respect is accepting your partner for who they are, respect is admiring the good qualities you fell in love with; respect is cherishing every moment you spend together (life is short always remember this), respect is giving your partner some space when they need it… I could go on and on and that’s to show you how important this word Respect is in a relationship.

2. A joint plan and aim just makes life more fun because then you both would have the same purpose and this would in turn bring you closer. Your joint plan can be planning a vacation together, renovating your home, building project, business project etc. This creates room for communication and understanding.

3. My third tip is what is popularly termed “Me Time”. Everybody needs space, its an unspoken rule so talk to your partner about this am sure they would agree with you. Do not see “Me time” as drifting, rather see it as a time to hang out with people other than your partner and also time to pursue your interest but remember not to make your “me time” over shadow your relationship.

4. Having a Bucket list is not a “oyinbo” thing, its something everybody should have as far as am concerned and a joint bucket list with your long term partner would bring you close together this list can include a climb on mount Everest, Sky diving, Visiting the caliphate, go on a voyage on sea etc

5. Finally you need to Keep the Fire Burning, this is so important or else how would the relationship work, you need to find ways to fall in love with each other every time, small romantic gestures goes a long way, saying “I love you”  leaving notes, seeing a movie together while holding heads or touching shoulders anything that would spark the endorphin’s in you and your partner. You might not be a Romantic person but you an do a lot.

With this you have no excuse you should know how to keep the fire burning in a long term relationship, start practicing till it becomes second nature.

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