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This is a message we received in our inbox. We have given advice and set up a poll to seek public opinion. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail to [email protected]

meet amaka

Hello World

Dear Amaka,
Am very delighted on how u treats people’s cases and I will be the happiest person if u can attends to mine. (NOTE: Please don’t include my email address in the publish)
I was between 19-20 years when I started dating this guy, we were together for a year or two. During those times, I didn’t show him where I was living, not bcos I don’t love him but for the fear of my parents. So he always visited me at my working place but later on I suddenly quitted from where i was working & also lost my phone within that week which makes us to stop seeing and communicating. After 4 years we met again but he was married & he lamented on how he visited my former place of work severally for my whereabout. To brief the story, we fell in love again & became pregnant he was very happy & promised to marry me but I rejected the proposal bcos I was afraid of what the society will say about his status and also afraid of being a second wife at age 24 so I terminated the pregnancy. But we still get along again bcos we both love each other but he wasn’t happy wit the pregnancy I terminated. He proposed to me again in 2013 and I promised to marry him if only he can wait till I come back from the travelling I wanted to embarked. When I came back in 2014, I was transferred to Enugu which was against my agreement with him bcos I told him dat when am back from travelling, I will ensure I retain my stay in Lagos so dat we can marry. But despite the distance, his love and mind didn’t change towards me. He visits me every 2 to 3 months in Enugu and now he is reminding me of my promise I made before travelling. I wish to settle down with him bcos I love him but when I narrated the story to one of my friend, she said I shouldn’t marry him bcos he is someone else husband but I sees his wife as the one who snatched my man from me.
The problem here is that he is pressing me wit his proposal and wit my current age: 29years, I want to settle down and I have no body in my life except this man and also pressure has been on him bcos there is no issue in his 8 years marriage and he is 40 years of age.
My confusion now is what do I do. Should I go ahead & marry him Because I love him dearly or should I leave him just as my friend said that he is someone else husband which i don’t believe bcos I sees her as the one who took away my man. WHAT DO I DO BECAUSE AM VERY CONFUSED.

Dear Sister,

I have some questions to ask you,

1) Do you want to be a second wife?

2) Put your self in the wife’s shoes  would you want your husband to bring in another wife?

This questions are for you to reflect upon, and if you do not like the answer then it’s best you move on. Looking at your situation from another perspective , since this man you love has never complained about his wife then, you need to ask yourself, are you just a side distraction? because if he really loves you then he would not put you in this situation, then take time to off this relationship to reflect on what you want, whats best for you and ask yourself is he worth all the drama that is sure to materialize if you accept his marriage proposal.

[yop_poll id=”408″]

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