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This is a message we received in our inbox. We have given advice and set up a poll to seek public opinion. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail to [email protected]

The reaction of disconnecting is a natural occurrence in a relationship especially in marriage. Honestly, Its confusing even to those who call themselves relationship experts because everyone’s situation is different. Emotional abandonment is something that seems to be happening in great proportion this days, the funny thing is that the spouse won’t come out to ask for a divorce they just leave you there to deal with the situation and they would never stop taunting you.


Hello World

Pls can you kindly help me post this ASAP cos I’m tired of my marriage and I don’t want to take any decision while angry…..I’m 27yrs I have two girls for him now but he stays abroad…. He left 10months after our first child…And I live with his family….. We never had a proper marriage cos I’m an orphan so it was just court…. For the first 3 years…. He call me every day….. So he came back 2013 for 3weeks and I got pregnant…. When he went back he stopped calling…. Sometimes 2weeks or more, I do cry silently in my room cos no one to talk to…. During the first 3years whenever I get a interview he will say I should choose either him or the job….and I always choose him…..whenever I want to collect my daughter school fees its always trouble…. I will start hearing things like ” I send you make you born…. When you know u can’t take care of her why did you give birth to her” to collect food money na wahala…. Fast forward to today’s date…… He called and said I’ve been checking ur email how come you withdraw 5k and another one in 3days and I said what??? Its bicos you kip checking…. I don’t take more than the monthly money and moreover we have some health issues so I have to buy drugs and also when we need food… And I ask him why can’t I have any privacy….you have the password to my fb…don’t even know why…. Then hr started calling me names…. Calling me fool…. Idiot…. Gold digger…. This is someone that has nothing when I met him… And i also told him my privacy is important to me just as it is to you…. He neva put my pics or the kids pics on his dp or fb even on their birthdays…..he said if I want my privacy that he will give me but he stop sending us money….. He will block me from WhatsApp and change all his number so I will not be able to call him and I should stop thinking bcos I have kids for him that I’ve won….. That if he touch his head he can have 100 kids in 9 month anywhere in the world…. And the road is free for me to go…. My question now is what do I do? I don’t have a job even if I do? How do I take care of my kids? I’m having headache pls advice me.

Dear troubled,

The fact that your spouse has refused to accept his responsibilities doesn’t mean your marriage is over, If he feels he does not want the marriage he should call for a divorce but until then… Its difficult when your partner doesn’t know how his actions are affecting not only the marriage but the kids, You choosing your husband that doesn’t meet up to his responsibilities over a job opportunity to better your life and train your kids was the wrong decision? I cannot categorically tell you if he loves you or not or if he still wants the marriage or not but this signs have shown that there is something definitely wrong.

If you really love your kids you need to look for a job to cater for your kids and ignore your husband for now, If he sees that you don’t care about his money anymore he will come around and if he doesn’t then you have to make a decision whether you want to stay on or leave.

Hey darlings, this sister is in desperate need of your advice,please leave your comment and advice in the comment box below.

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