We Africans have a thing for big weddings, we love our ceremony grande we call it the I better pass my neighbor syndrome. For reasons that is still hard to grasp we believe there is need to impress and represent, therefore the pressure of a big wedding intensifies with every passsing month and don’t forget we have to look for flawless for bella naija and aso ebi bella so there you go. Here are 7 commandments you need to follow if you want the perfect African wedding:
1. Thou shalt place your mother above yourself
Don’t go about assuming your wedding is going to be all about you err.. wrong perception, kindly walk up to your mother and ask her what are her plans for the wedding
Your graduation and wedding are your mother's days. It's got little to do with you. Accept it and know peace
— Christina Grey (@VikkiAngelX) July 26, 2015
I guess now you know what mama’s demands are, now time to know what your pastors plans for the wedding are
Why have an angry pastor at your wedding..
— Bacchus (@Sohlano) April 29, 2012
Is he happy? are you sure? okay now you can start to plan the wedding.
2. Thou shalt place your friends in their level
Just as the wedding is not about you, its even less about your friends, so no sentiments when you are picking your bridal train or grooms men, its not required.
A co-worker just asked me to be his groomsman because his wife-to-be doesn't think his actual friends are photogenic enough.
— Mark Aroni (@NerdEfiko) April 13, 2015
Now if your bestie does not have the right skin tone or appropriate height for your flawless bellanaija photo shoot then off with his head lol not literally, but you have to settle for an acquaintance that would do just right.
"I love you Tolu, but your skin tone doesn't match the overall vision I have for my wedding".
— Mr. Fox (@TheBlackHermit) April 21, 2015
Err.. just put them on the high table, that should do.
3. Thou shall not go with food network dishes
Is there a need to emphasize this, i think not the basis of any mo gbo moya is about food so don’t go trying any food network experiments do that on your anniversary (maybe).
What's this new wretched thing of people serving unripe plantain porridge at occasions? Please if you don't want us to come, just say.
— Retrocode (@Cohannnnn) August 27, 2015
Obviously you don’t play with their Jollof rice.
A wedding/party with no jollof is no party at all, we take being served jollof rice at occasions very serious here in Nigeria!
— M (@MaRyAm_MuKtAr) August 22, 2015
And then maybe some small chops
Anyone wanna invite me for a wedding? I just want small chops abeg
— BollyLomo (@ItsBollyLomo) August 29, 2015
And then of cause Alchohol
After they didn't give us alcohol at the traditional wedding, I dey go my house. No point staying for church and reception.
— Akwy (@Oyolimma) September 7, 2013
Without this, your wedding is not on point.
4. Never forget to include the pricey Aso Ebi
The beautiful part of a wedding is the Aso-ebi that would be sold to your invitees, so yes inflate it as you like
Dear friends getting hitched this year, be reasonable with the aso ebi prices. It's a wedding, not a business venture.
— Olori Petite (@Dotbabe) January 5, 2014
Of cause, I am not a poor somebody.
The aso ebi has two main use, the first is crowd control
Aso-ebi is your passport.
Secondly it covers the cost of your honeymoon.
Nigerians are funny sha. Aso-Ebi 70k. You should have just told me to help contribute for ya honeymoon. mschewww! na me send una?
— FAVORED WOMAN (@4LaH) July 7, 2015
Hello, I need to be chill in a 5-star hotel, Ibiza is not cheap.
5. Thou shalt not waste time, get to the point already.
We love God yes, but we are at a wedding, let your pastor know that.
Had to withstand a pretty long sermon today at a trad wedding. Felt like a church service.. What was missing was offering
— Khunlay (@Tha_SlimKidd) January 31, 2015
The service should be short, I mean really short after-all its a wedding.
On my wedding day,i will tell d pastor to make the service as short as possible. Dont turn a wedding to another church service.
— :! (@BOLOF2000) December 8, 2012
If you find enough people at the church service, well beautiful, if not the reception awaits.
When invited to a wedding, it's rude to not attend the church service but you pop up at the reception just because there's food.
— Nomalungelo Mseleku (@nomAryts) July 16, 2015
6. Thou shalt pick the right venue.
Do not stress anybody with your wedding fantasies, keep it in your dreams.
Ki ni Beash? RT @H_L_MA: Lmao my cousin wants to have a small wedding on a beach. But her mama na Yoruba woman so ko possible.
— Code Architect (@codeArchie) November 23, 2013
Well it better remain there cause mama would have non of that.
I want to attend a big Nigerian wedding,with loud music and party jollof rice, :(.
— Yinka Adewuyi (@Yinka_yeenka) August 24, 2012
A big hall, expensive decor, a good Dj would do. Do you need to be happy, isn’t that a myth?
7. Thou shalt instantly forget about a budget
So remind me again, whats a budget o yeah, you have one tear it up, there’s no need your account balance would suffice.
The depth of your pocket “@SheriphSkills: So what's the standard budget for a Nigerian wedding?”
— Bae (@MgbekeFF) March 4, 2014
Two plates for every guest
Before? It's our right. RT @NomskyN: Nigerians will crash your wedding and still be asking for extra plate. Smh
— Bijou (@TheMobWife) December 21, 2013
RSVP, what is that again?
So basically. Nigerians and RSVP don't mix LOOOOOL
— Cooking with Cocoa (@BeingMissCocoa) March 1, 2015
Prepare your mind, remember your makeup and wedding outfits needs to slay. Yes I said it.
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