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There might come a time in your relationship when things will stop feeling right irrespective of how you both are in love. The uneasiness and discomfort you feel at this time could be as a result of the usual restlessness couples tend to feel sometimes or it could be a sign that you have not chosen the right person. The strategy to fall in love with the right person depends on who you decide to love, if you do not change your selection mechanism you will subconsciously choose the same heartache everytime, you will ignore the obvious red flags believing that the relationship will be different but nothing will change. You don’t need to change how you act, your clothes, your weight or your personality, you just need to shift your piece of the puzzle because when it shifts, you will see men or women you meet will start to change as well. Here are 4 signs you are in love with the wrong person;


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1. Your self esteem is at an all-time low

If you always end up feeling worse about yourself after spending some time with your partner, you need to re-evaluate your relationship. Love is not supposed to hurt you, it is suppose to make you feel good and more confident. You will continue to get bad treatment when your partner succeeds in diminishing your self-esteem and this would be because you have started feeling like you can’t do better than this or that you do not deserve better than this.

2. You don’t feel safe with them

One of the very important sign that you are with the right person is that you always feel physically and emotionally safe when you are with them. If your partner is verbally or physically abusive, you should be smart enough to know that it can’t be love. Surround yourself with people who truly care and who you are safe with when you are in this kind of situation and you should know that the love you feel for this kind of person is often just distorted hope or fear.

3. you find yourself pining for another person

If you constantly think about a past love and then go on to wonder if this could actually be your heart warning you that you are in a wrong relationship then you need to rethink. Research has found that a rekindled romance are surprisingly successful as long as both partners are not otherwise attached at the time they reconnect.

4. You are not just yourself anymore

A person who truly loves you will always be willing to accept you for exactly who you are, never feel like you are being pressurized to fit an ideal person that your partner has carefully crafted for you. You have the right to live your life your own way, to do things you really want and to stay authentic and real as possible. If you feel like you are constantly downplaying certain traits of your personality or pretending to enjoy the activities and events that you don’t even care about, then you are doing your relationship more harm than good.

The above are signs you are in love with the wrong person.

This is a message we received in our inbox. We have given advice and set up a poll to seek public opinion. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a [email protected]

Hi , I’m a 25 year old lady dating a 25 year old guy.. We are both graduates, I’m going for service next month while he is self employed.. Not making much but i know things will get better.. Problem is my bf said we have to wait till 2018 to get married because of the austerity economy Though he said it could be earlier than that if things changed.. I met a guy recently who really likes me but i didnt like at first cos he is a drug addict and a yahoo boy.. I kinda made a mistake of having $3x with him without protection and he said i shouldn’t use drug and all (hoping i get pregnant).. He wants us to do introduction (mind you my mum knows the first guy)
I’m in a fix.. Should i wait for the first guy or get pregnant for the 2nd (he wants me to get pregnant before marriage.. I’m not getting any younger but i’d prefer to get married to the first guy who i love more

Dear Worried,

If you have a responsible partner that has you in his future plans, no time is too long to wait for such partner. If your partner wants to spend the rest of his life with you but does not have the funds to do that, you should help him achieve that instead of leaving him to be someone else. Someone that truly loves you will not ask you to get pregnant before marriage, I don’t think that is part of any culture and even if it is, he is questioning your fertility.

Go back to your partner and stop the illicit affair with the new drug addict guy to prevent yourself from future heart break. Age does not determine when you should get married and 25 is still a very young age to think that you are getting old. Be steadfast with your partner and build your careers together.

Are you in love with the wrong person or have you being in such situation before? Share with us below.

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